i need to talk.

i wish i could change my writing style. i wanna be a more thoughtful writer.

its winter. i want someone to cuddle wiiiith meeeee

thinker’s block. and thus, a nonsensical poem:

unanimously unilaterally dynamic in size

unattractively retroactively demanding my prize

untimely unwinding recent findings in my thighs

with ungainly unwieldy funtastic gymnastic spies

supressing impatient temptations sensationally wide

why is being popular so important to people? why is it that people need to have a million friends or followers on the internet to feel important? everyone cant be a local celebrity! there are some people who are genuinely leaders in their craft, superior in their thinking, in their talents and abilities, but we can’t all be those people. we can’t all strive for cult followings of our internet personas, its just statistically impossible or something, everyone cant be famous, celebrated and adored.

im just sort of getting tired of feeling like the only reason people use certain internet networking or blog cites is to gain a liege of followers interested in their cooler-than-though party lifestyles or something. and not all of the people who gain these followings intend on being the annoying internet starlets i perceive them as, it is their followers that aggrandize their every move (or post, rather) that makes me feel like i’m in a high school hallway every time i look at certain twitter and wordpress pages.

[anti]social networking cites have become the intermediary for the maintenance of an illusion of superior social status, of coolness, and of exclusivity. now the used-to-be socially awkward have found their realm to be a brand of nouveax cool kid and arrogant snobs in an area of “expertise” of thier choice, typically fashion or music or art cuz thats, like, cool or something.

everyone can’t be a top model, everyone cant be as talented as tavi, the 13 year old self entitled style rookie, who has more of an eye for fashion and humility than most of the attention hungry “fashion” bloggers trapsing around the internet and twitter. in my opinion, what distinguishes a lot of the sensational fashion, music and art bloggers from the bunch is usually their humility, superior creativity, and passion for what they do that transcends the popularity aspect of using the internet as their medium. their craft exists with or without an audience. they’re not just doing it for the show, or to look cool because they have 100 more followers than the next person.

this is not to knock all of the serious up and coming celebrities who have chosen to use their internet personas to further their following or to hate on all the people with what i think are sub-par fashion, music and art blogs. My opinion of what makes a blog spectacular, or an artist genuine, are not unanimous for us all. It’s a good thing that people express interests in whatever direction their senses take them, and that there are innovating ways via the internet to give people the platform to do that. It’s the disproportionate rotten few that have turned the internet into a popularity contest that spoil it for the rest of us.

im really annoyed at my recent inability to take things that i KNOW i need to be doing seriously. deadlines are approaching and i know that logistically this might as well be the 11th hour. and yet i work in such opposition of what i KNOW i need to do!! its like im afraid that i’ll do badly on shit so i’d rather say it was because i left it all to the last minute than try hard and still do badly. despite the fact that if i was thinking logically and with some well due esteem to my intelligence, there’d be no doubt that i could produce work worthy of a good grade. im just afraid to tell myself that and be wrong.